Comedy: Drivers Entitled and Distracted (CBC)

I used to be a pretty lazy guy. Famously lazy. But now I walk around my neighbourhood a lot. I am frequently almost hit by cars with distracted drivers behind the wheel — as are my wife and kids. This was a little comedy article I wrote for CBC that was meant to be funny, but also expressing my dislike of almost being killed all the time.

You’d be surprised the amount of weirdos that made comments like, “If you almost get hit by a car once a week, you’re an idiot!” Look, dummies, I said I ALMOST get hit by a car. The fact that I don’t should count for something, right? Anyway, check it out! And drive (and walk) safe!

Slow down, Vin Diesel – you’re not going to get there early if you’re so fast and furious you’re in prison for manslaughter.

Craig Silliphant (CBC)